Film executives are nuts. This much is obvious from what does and does not get made in Hollywood. The executives decide which films get made, and from the output of Hollywood in recent years, it's obvious that something is wrong.
Hollywood makes a lot of bad films. To be fair, if you make as many films as Hollywood does, then a lot of them will be bad. It's the law of averages. But recently it seems that Hollywood has been making more of these lemons. Possibly it's just that I'm paying more attention, but probably it's the amount of publicity the studios are pumping into these stinkers. In the past, if a film was great, it'd be talked about. Now the studios try to decide what we talk about by guiding our attention to their latest blockbuster using their multi-billion dollar publicity machines. But most of these blockbusters suck to some degree. The more an expensive film sucks, the more they will try to make you see it, and the more publicity it'll get. So maybe Hollywood doesn't actually suck, but publicity does...
Okay, let's have a look at some examples of Hollywood executives being nuts shall we. I've collected up some films to discuss in no particular order, some of them are great, some are shocking and a few were never even made. Got your popcorn? Okay, let's go.
First up, let's talk about awesome films which never got off the ground shall we? The classic of this genre is of course, Alien 3. Wait a minute! Alien 3? But wasn't that made? And isn't there a sequel as well?
Well yes, but that's not the Alien 3 we're talking about. We're talking about the original proposal for Alien 3. The original proposal in which the Aliens invade earth. The original proposal which was like Aliens, with marines, heavy weapons, power loaders etc. duking it out with hordes of aliens across the ruins of LA. That Alien 3. Obviously, this would have been a VERY expensive film, and although some test/promo footage was apparently shot, funds could not be raised. So there was a second proposal which I still liked the sound of. This version was to feature a colony founded by a religious group on a forest world who had forsaken technology. Sort of Amish Vs. Aliens if you will. Now that sounded interesting, you could have all sorts of improvised weapons and traps, and a forest world would give a great atmosphere. But what did we get? We got a very low budget and a disused foundry.
If you're interested in the original Alien 3 proposal, it did sort of get made. The Aliens graphic novels which appeared after the original Aliens, but before Alien 3 do feature a similar plot. I've only read the first one, but the Aliens do make it to earth forcing human kind to evacuate.
Next unmade marvel: Pterodactyls Vs. Zeppelin. Now with a name like that you KNOW it's going to be a B-Grade cult master piece. And it probably would have been if Hammer films didn't go under. Hammer films is an English company, but I want to include it because the idea is so awesome. No one knows exactly what the film was going to be about (except Pterodactyls fighting a Zeppelin.). A proposal was drawn up along with a poster to excite interest, but the company collapsed before anything else could be done. The poster shows what appears to be a Fokker D.VII biplane dueling with a Pterodactyl while a Zeppelin cruises over head. The Zeppelin has two hanger bays on the underside for launching parasite fighters.
Now on to the things Hollywood should not have made.
Let's start with the classics shall we? Waterworld. At the time, the most expensive film produced, and the largest losses in history. It wasn't a really bad film either, I actually like it a lot. You know why it sucked? The script was written for a $5m Mad Max clone. So you see, this is what happens when a low budget script meets a super high budget Kevin Cosnter vehicle. If the film had been made for $5m it'd probably be a cult film classic. Mad Max itself only cost about $40,000 and Mad Max 2 didn't cost much more. Post Apocalyptic films seem to thrive on low budgets (and being filmed in Australia without Kevin Costner).
You'd think Hollywood would have learned it's lesson right? Wrong. Postman. Kevin Costner's next post apocalyptic odyssey. And you know what really bites about this one? The book by David Brin was great.
Okay, let's talk about some book films. Now you would think that a great book would make a great movie most of the time. There are things you can do in books which do not work in films, and some books are unfilmable. However if you choose the right book, everything should be great right? Then Hollywood steps in.
Let's start with War of the Worlds. H G Wells' classic alien invasion story and a metaphor for British colonialism. Great book. What could be more awesome than watching the most powerful nation on Earth in all her steam driven might being smacked up by a bunch of tripod war machines of unimaginable power?
Well, according to George Pal, watching America being smacked up by a bunch of floating stingrays. So at the time, America was the most powerful nation on earth, but this film lost the whole metaphor for colonialism. America doesn't have colonies. Not real ones anyway. The book is basically saying to England "How would you like it if some other race with even better technology that you invaded your country and took over? Are you feeling bad about Africa, America, China, most of Asia and bits of South America yet?"
Then Spielberg makes his version. Which has almost nothing to do with the book. The warmachines have three legs and disease kills them in the end, but that's about it. Spielberg didn't make a film of the book, he remade Pal's film then paid lip-service to Wells by having Morgan Freeman do a voice over at the begriming and end which is based on the novel. And you never see the fighting. Hell, I was really looking forward to seeing some Martians VS US armed forces action. That would have been so cool! But any fighting happens on the other side of a hill from Tom Cruise and his annoying brood and the Spielberg trademark family dog.
Which brings me to I Am Legend. One of the best books I have ever read, and written by one of the best screen writers of all time, Richard Matheson (he wrote all of the classic episodes of the original Twilight Zone and is especially remembered for Nightmare at 20,000 feet, the one where William Shatner sees a sort of yeti-like thing ripping up the wings of the plane). This book has actually been filmed three times now. First as 'The last man on earth' with Vincent Price, then as 'The Omega Man' with Charelton Heston, and finally under it's own name with Will Smith. Let that sink in. Horror Legend, Hollywood Legend, Will Smith. Bad Film, Bad Film, Bad Film. (I'm guessing here, I have not yet seen the latest version, but Will Smith is in it, and let's face it, his presence tends to doom films)
The First version was shot on a very low budget, and didn't get a huge release. I have not yet seen it, but I have heard it's fairly faithful, and I do like Vincent Price. The Omega Man is famous. Famous for buying the rights to a book for an enormous sum, and then not using the plot from the book at all. The book has Vampires, the film has Albino weird cultists. The book ends with the hero captured by the Vampires, realizing he's now the bogey man, and killing himself. The film ends with Heston finding a cure, and basically dying on the cross. And there are more survivors. And basically it all sucked. Richard Matheson once said he couldn't work out why they bought the rights, but he was very grateful because they paid him a hell of a lot for them.
Oh, and I did mention Matheson was a screen writer right? Well no one asked him to write the script for their versions. You see, Hollywood executives are nuts.
There are a couple of other examples I can think of, but this rant has been going on for a long time and honestly I think I've proved my point. I might write up another rant at some stage about unnecessary remakes and sequels, but just from the examples I've given you can see that Hollywood executives are nuts. They don't seem to understand the medium they work it at all, they certainly do not understand their audiences, and they have this weird habit of letting Will Smith play roles originally intended for uptight white guys. In short, (and I'm being polite here) they are nuts.
Film executives are nuts.