We seem to be living through a Superhero cycle in cinema at the moment. It's not the first Superhero cycle, but it seems to be the biggest. I'm not going to say Hollywood executives are nuts just because superhero films are being made, it's not necessarily a bad thing. Some have been very good, but let's talk about the bad stuff. Catwoman. A film which stands out in it's ineptitude so much that I feel compelled to devote an entire rant to it.
There are many damning points about this film, not least of which is the worrying fact that the director has a one word name. Bad sign. But far from the worst sign.
Let's start with the most obvious sign of madness. You don't even need to watch the film to notice this one, it's on all the posters and it's on the DVD cover. Yes, I am referring to the costume. Now as far as I am concerned, Catwoman wears a Catsuit. In fact, I think that might be where the word comes from (I haven't actually done any research to back this up). She wears a black, shiny, full body, ultra-tight leather suit. And damn does it look hot. So why is Halle Berry wearing a pair of hipster flairs and a bra with some weird bondage straps? Who was the costume designer, and have they had rotten fruit hurled at them yet? Changing a classic costume like Catwoman's is a sure sign of executive insanity.
Next sign of madness is, as with so many recent films, insane cameramen. Or at least insane camera work. There are scenes where I honestly cannot follow what is going on. The basketball scene and the motorbike scene spring to mind. The camera is moving so fast, often concentrating of inconsequential details rather than the action, and it's so shaky that you can't figure out what is going on.
Then things switch to CGI. And the camera goes even crazier.
And while we are speaking of CGI, exactly why is it so poor? I've seen better CGI in video games (and I'm talking about game-elements here). Catwoman and Halle Berry actually walk and move differently. Then the skin tone is wrong and the gloss is to high (something a catsuit would have hidden I might add!). The face also seems to have the wrong proportions. Honestly, even the backgrounds are obvious CGI. I've made better CGI backgrounds just playing around with lightwave.
I'm not even sure why they go to CGI. Okay, so catwoman does some impressive jumping and climbing and so forth, but you could achieve the same thing with a blue screen and a body double (assuming here that Halle Berry is not up for that sort of acrobatics).
I'm also not sure why being granted cat-themed powers suddenly means Catwoman can fight. She couldn't fight when she was Patience, why can she fight as Catwoman? I'd be happy if there was some sort of throw away line saying that the cats granted her fighting skills, but no explanation? Dammit, geeks watch these films. Geeks pick holes in films. Geeks DEMAND explanations. Who did they think their audience was anyway? It's based on a comic, of course geeks will want to see it.
Oh, and the whip? Those things take years to master, or so I am lead to believe. Also... where did she get it?
I've been ignoring the fact that Catwoman has actually changed name and race from the version in the comics. Honestly, I don't have a problem with that aspect of the script (apart from the 'Game Over' 'Now it's over time' exchange. Dammit script writers, Game Over happens in VIDEO GAMES. Over time happens in sports. In video games, it's not 'Now it's overtime,' it's 'Now it's load time' or 'Now it's cheatcode time'... do script writers actually understand the cultural referneces they make...)Actually, I think the script is pretty good, it has some good one liners, and with better film makers behind it, it could have been a much better film.
But Hollywood executives chose these film makers. And what did they get? Not an enjoyable and empowering story of a strong woman and a good example to young girls. They got a giant, extended, hyper-active, obviously fake, CGI laden, unfathomable, tie-in ready video clip. And why?
Hollywood Executives are nuts II: Catwoman.