From: hezromberg@aol.com (HezRomberg) Subject: NEW DS9: Growing Pains (K) Part 1 of 2 Date: 27 Feb 1997 21:48:47 GMT GROWING PAINS Part 1 of 2 By Heather Romberg Paramount owns everything accept this specific story. Note: This story takes place in two time periods. I have tried to distinguish the two with lines, but who knows how the formatting will come out once AOL gets a hold of it. I'm sorry if it is difficult to read. Comments would be greatly appreciated. Thanks, Heather She tasted blood, and her mouth tightened as she tried to spit into the mud. Rolling over she tried to open her eyes, full sensation returning in a rush of pain. The hard cold rain pelted her with icy bullets and only her left eye would open. Blood ran down the right side of her face from a gash on her forehead and more seeped from a wound on her chin. She tried to wipe the blood from her face with her right hand but her arm wouldn't move. Her left eye finally adjusted to the dim twilight and took in the surrounding area. The mountain. She was still on the mountain. Her left arm was mobile and she pushed herself into a sitting position. A quick survey of the rest of her torn person, revealed heavy shrapnel pieces imbedded along her right side. Several ribs and her arm were broken, but she could move her leg. *So cold.* She reached down and tugged at a ten centimeter long piece of debris protruding from her calf, gagging reflexively as she realized it was bone, but not her own. She looked around frantically to see who it belonged to, but she was alone on the rock face. How? Her mind was still cloudy with pain and she couldn't seem to focus her thoughts. With numb, shaking fingers she pulled her pack closer and took out the emergency bandages. *Have to stop the bleeding.* Her mind was drifting off focus more now, causing her to fumble her one good hand and drop the bandages several times, but she finally managed to bandage most of the serious wounds. She leaned back to rest a moment and the world faded to black. Warmth. She had never felt so warm. Home. Her mother and father were there, Dorron and Serval were asleep in their rooms. All was just as she always knew it would be. She moved to pull the blanket closer and her entire body erupted in pain. Soft hands stilled her movement, gently tucked the blanket around her more snugly and lightly caressed her hair. "Careful now. You need to stay be still." The gentle, soothing voice raised a lump in her throat. She opened her one good eye, looking up into the face of her benefactor. The middle aged woman before her smiled softly. "How do you feel?" She swallowed, her throat to dry to respond. The woman noticed her difficulty and held a cup of cool water to her lips. It took most of her strength just to drink a few sips. "I've stopped all the bleeding and knitted your broken bones. You have a light concussion and I'll bet you're mighty sore, but you'll be all right. All you need is time to heal and rest. I promise you'll get plenty of that here." She smiled warmly again and adjusted the thin girl more comfortably. The girl's tongue finally cooperated with a horse whisper. "Who are you?" She asked. "My name is Alysia. Damar Alysia. And what may I call you, child?" The girl hesitated, cautious about revealing her name to anyone these days, but the soft look in Alysia's eyes reassured her. "Kira Nerys." She responded weakly, as exhaustion threatened to claim her again. "Well Nerys, you just rest now. We can talk later." Questions flooded Kira's brain, but she didn't have the strength. Just a little more sleep. Kira awoke the second time feeling much stronger. She opened her eyes, still disoriented, and frantically surveyed her surroundings for something familiar. She knew nothing here. The room was small, and looked like it extended into a cave. There was a makeshift fire place in the corner, some rickety, pieced together furniture and only one exit. She tried to locate one of her knives to protect herself, but found that she couldn't move her right arm or leg. She began to panic. How would she get out of here and how did she get here in the first place? There was no one else in sight. Who had been taking care of her? She lay her head back down her mind racing. She swallowed hard, forcing back the tears of pain and fear that threatened to overwhelm her. She would not cry! She was a member of the Resistance not a child! Prophets, she missed Lupaza. Lupaza always made things better. As she struggled to gain control of herself she noticed someone approaching the house. The door opened to reveal the woman from her earlier 'dream.' She smiled and set down the load of cut wood she had been carrying. "I see you're awake. That's good. How are you feeling? Hungry yet?" The soft spoken woman moved nearer, causing Kira to edge away. She stopped advancing. "I'm not going to hurt you...I promise." She smiled gently again and then slowly moved to sit on edge of the bed. Kira eyed her warily but allowed her to check and re-bandage her wounds. "There now, you're healing nicely. I think you're ready for some food." Kira's stomach betrayed her with a growl at the thought and the woman grinned in gentle amusement. "Well, I guess that's a 'yes'." She stood and moved over to what could only whimsically be called a kitchen. Kira followed her every movement with interest, her fear rapidly being replaced by curiosity. "Where am I?" She asked weakly. The woman looked back at her for a moment before returning to her pots. "You are in my home. My name is Damar Alysia, and as I said before, you have nothing to fear from me." She moved back towards the bed with a steaming bowl of broth and a chunk of soft bread. Kira eyed the food eagerly. She couldn't remember the last time she had eaten warm food. It was too dangerous to light a fire with all the Cardassians in the area. Her mind tried to drag her into that reality again, making her wonder if any of her friends were still alive, if the Cardassians would be looking for her, but, she roughly pushed the thoughts away for the moment and focused on the present. Food. Alysia allowed her to feed herself with her one good hand and watched as Kira tried to gulp at the food without being too obvious. "Careful there, not too fast. Your stomach probably needs to get used to food again. Kira made a point to slow down, a little...a very little. As she ate, Alysia observed more closely the girl before her. She was young, a child really, hardly more that fourteen. She was rail thin, with short limp hair that looked like it had been cut with a knife. Her big brown eyes seemed to overpower her bruised pale face and made her appear even younger. And she was scarred, not just from these wounds, from older ones. There was a lost, frightened, animal look in her hollow eyes. One that she had come to associate with the endless refugee camps. But, there was something more there too. A spark of spirit and strength that periodically over came her. Alysia clenched her jaw in anger. She had long ago accepted the horror of life on modern Bajor, but at times like this it was hard not to feel rage. This girl should be in school, attending parties and causing her parents hours of worry, not laying here starving and covered in scars. She swallowed her anger, knowing it to be unproductive and absently reached out to smooth the short auburn hair back from the girl's brow. Kira flinched at the touch, having been so absorbed in the food that she'd forgotten Alysia was there. Alysia dropped her hand and tried to be as non-threatening as possible. "How old are you, dear?" She asked quietly. The girl looked at her for a moment obviously trying to decide whether or not to tell her, and then returned to ungracefully shoving bread into her mouth. "Sixteen." She mumbled through her food. Alysia sat back a little in surprise. The girl didn't look anywhere near that age! When she had been sixteen she had... She stopped her thoughts before they could carry her to far into the past. She looked up again to find herself being observed. Brown eyes held her's quizzically for a moment before she finally speaking with a self-conscious shrug. "Thank you." Alysia smiled in return, surprised at the pleasantry. It had been her experience that most of the children raised in the shadow of the Occupation, were ignorant of such things. She moved to clean up the discarded dishes and walked over to the cleaning pail. "You are most welcome, Nerys. There is plenty more for later. We don't want you to do too much at once." Kira continued to watch her motions with curiosity. "How did I get here?" Alysia washed the dishes as she answered her questions. "I was looking for one of my Karvaat bulls that had wandered off when I saw you on a mountain ledge." She looked back at her. "You were bleeding pretty badly and it took me a while to get you here." She smiled reassuringly again. "I'm very pleased to see that you have such a good appetite. It's a good sign that your strength is returning." Kira watched her as she spoke. The food and warmth were making her tired and she was having a hard time concentrating, but she still needed to know certain things. "Does anyone else live here? Did you tell anyone you brought me here?" Alysia moved to sit next to her again, noticing the uncontrollable droop in her eyelids. "No one else lives here, and no one knows about you. Don't worry, you're safe." She hesitated for a moment deciding whether or not to divulge all she knew. "Two days ago there was a rescue attempt by the Resistance at the local Cardassian military base. As far as I can tell it was a disaster." She looked closely at the stricken expression on Kira's face before continuing. "I assume you were part of that attempt. I'm sorry, I don't have any information on anyone involved." Kira sank back against the pillows, too tired to put on a good facade. Lupaza, Furel, Edon...She couldn't even think about them being gone. They were all she had left. A tear rolled down her cheek and she tried to hide it by turning her face away. Alysia's heart tore at the girl's attempt to hide her despair. She reached out and wiped away the now steadily flowing tears, before embracing the battered girl as much as she could without hurting her. The tears stopped fairly quickly as Kira faded off into sleep, exhaustion finally claiming her. Alysia smoothed her hair back and arranged the blankets tightly about her thin frame. She stood up and gave her one last look before returning to her chores, surprised that this young girl had managed to pull a piece of her long ago abandoned heart back so quickly. *No Cardassian will hurt you here Kira Nerys. Not as long as I can help it.* __________________________________________________________________________ _______ Major Kira Nerys, First Officer of, and the Bajoran Liaison to, the Federation Space Station Deep Space Nine, stepped off the transport with trepidation. Her eyes rebelled at unaccustomed bright Bajoran sunlight and her body to the sudden heat of a summer midday. She loosened the collar of her casual civilian tunic as she made her way to the ground car rental booth. This was not the way she wanted to spend a vacation. She sighed in resignation and ordered an inexpensive ground car. She should have dealt with this years ago. Putting it off any longer wouldn't make it better. She shouldered her small bag and drove off towards the Lagora mountains, the very sight of their black, jagged shape sending a shiver sown her spine. Too many memories. It was nightfall before she reached the cabin. The shape was just as she remembered it, with the exception of some falling shingles on the sides. The back of the cabin disappeared into the cave behind it making it seem as though the mountain had taken a bite out of it. She pushed on the rickety door and entered with a portable light. The wind outside whipped around the tiny cabin making eerie whistles and gasps. There was a storm coming. Kira sat her belongings on the only table and looked around. Dust covered everything and much of the laughable furniture was broken beyond repair. She sighed again and sat down. The place was cold, lifeless, so different from when she was here last. Her eyes wandered the room stopping suddenly on a small bookshelf. Hanging on the edge, on a makeshift hook was a torn and dirty apron. She stood and walked over to stare at the apron, a lump forming in her throat as vivid memories returned in a rush. She should have come back here, should have at least thanked her. She moved back to the single functional chair and sat down heavily. *It's too late for that now, Nerys.* She unpacked her compact sleeping shelter and ate a small portion of her rations before giving up and falling asleep, her mind returning to the past. __________________________________________________________________________ ______ "How close are we to the Cardassian military base? Do you have any neighbors that might come and visit?" From her bed, Kira looked out the one window suspiciously, trying to see any signs of other people. Alysia looked away to hide her smile. Each time the girl woke up she was stronger and more curious...no make that cautious. "As I said before, there is no one around here to hurt you. We are about two kilometers from the base, but don't worry, the Cardassians won't find you here. I give you my word." She looked at Kira carefully before finally asking. "Do the Cardassians know to look for you?" Kira shrugged and looked away, her face clouded with anger. "Who knows? I'm not going to get close enough to find out. Cardassian butchers. Since when did they need a warrant or anything to kill a Bajoran anyway?" Alysia moved closer to her and sat down, contemplating the sudden change in Kira's disposition. Her hatred was so strong it was almost tangible. She decided to try a different tactic. "I take it you were involved in the rescue attempt?" Kira hesitated briefly before answering, uncertain if she was supposed to feign innocence or not. She finally decided that if Alysia was going to harm her she would have done it already. "Yeah, I was there." She looked away, remorse in her eyes. "It didn't go as planned." She swallowed hard, trying to gain control of herself. "I wish I knew what happened to the others." Alysia patted her hand reassuringly. "As soon as you're well, you can go find out. There was no one else with you when I found you. Perhaps the others got away and didn't realize you were there. You were in an obscure location and the weather and visibility were terrible." She saw a small light of hope bloom in Kira's eyes. She wanted to believe her. Kira grinned ruefully. "I hope you're right, but if you are, I'm in big trouble. If she survived, Lupaza will never forgive me for making her think I'm dead." Alysia smiled. "Lupaza, she's family?" Kira shook her head in negation. "No, she's just a friend...a really good friend." She shrugged again. "My family is dead." Alysia nodded absently in understanding. "My family is dead too." There was an awkward moment of silence as each remembered old pain, before Alysia stood and returned to her cooking. Kira brightened as she watched the older woman prepare food, making Alysia smile. *She does love to eat doesn't she?* Growing Pains Part 2 of 2 By Heather Romberg Paramount owns everything accept this specific story. Note: This story takes place in two time periods. I have tried to distinguish the two with lines, but who knows how the formatting will come out once AOL gets a hold of it. I'm sorry if it is difficult to read. Comments would be greatly appreciated. Thanks, Heather Major Kira awoke suddenly to a sharp banging noise. Disoriented, it took her a moment to remember where she was. The cabin. She sighed and moved to the door to see what part of the makeshift structure was falling off. The storm had come and gone, but it was followed by massive wind gusts that bombarded the early dawn. The sun rose sleepily over the distant jagged mountains. Kira removed the offending shingle and then stopped for a moment to observe the sun's artistic light show. It was rare these days that she got to see a sun rise. She moved back inside and took care of her minimal morning necessities. Refreshed, she started her unwelcome task...cataloging the cabin's contents for auction or destruction. It was late afternoon before she took a break. She paused and wiped the sweat from her face with a towel. Perhaps later she would take a dip in the river up the road. She looked at the pile of debris she had prepared for burning. *Tonight. When it's cooler.* She sat down on a small bolder near by and eagerly drank from her canteen. The day could have gone worse. Most of the items were beyond repair anyway. Only a few were worth salvaging and most of them weren't worth much money. Perhaps she should just donate the lot to charity and be done with it. She wearily walked back into the cabin and started to go through the small, dusty bookshelf. She remembered most of them well. There hadn't been much else she could do except read while she recuperated, and she had never had the time or the inclination to spend such energy on it before then. She sat down and started leafing through a battered copy of The Red Fisherman. It had been one of her favorites. __________________________________________________________________________ __ "If I have to just sit here any longer, I'll go crazy!" Kira flopped her head back onto the pillow dramatically, and fidgeted as much as she could with her right side still immobile. Alysia sighed quietly. The stronger Kira was, the more restless she became. Well, she supposed it was inevitable that a girl her age wouldn't want to be still for long. She shook her head in envy. *Prophets, I wish I had half her energy.* She needed to find a way to occupy her mind. "Perhaps you'd like to read something. I don't have a lot of books, but I have some good ones." Kira looked at her as though she had just suggested that she eat dirt. Alysia selected a short novel and brought it over to her. "Don't you like reading stories, child?" Kira scowled in distaste. "It's a waste of time, most of them are boring anyway, and I'm not a child." Alysia thought silently for a moment, listening to the steady drum of the rain outside. "Didn't you ever read in school?" Kira shrugged. "I didn't go to school very often. My father taught me all the important stuff before... And we in the Resistance don't have time for school." She finished with a note of pride in her voice. The thought that this bright girl would grow up ignorant disturbed Alysia greatly. If she, and the millions like her, were to ever achieve their goal to free Bajor, they wouldn't be educated enough to make it stay free. As a former teacher, this realization appalled her more than she cared to admit. "You don't study anything in your Resistance cell? No one teaches the young people?" Kira shook her head in consternation. "Of course, they teach us things. Important things, things that'll keep us alive and help us kill more Cardassians." Alysia had difficulty hiding her disgust. "That's all?" Kira shrugged again. "Well...sometimes Lupaza makes me figure out some stupid math or chemistry things, but I usually manage to escape pretty fast. And Furel loves to talk about history... that's not so bad, I guess." She smiled as a memory came to her. "Edon, he's our leader, he likes to read a lot. He's a good leader, but I swear he can be as boring as a voles..." She stopped suddenly, instinctively knowing that Furel's favorite description of a vole's anatomy wouldn't be appreciated by the genteel woman before her. She swallowed. "Well anyway, he's dull." Alysia looked away for a moment, only slightly appeased. At least this Lupaza person appeared to care about the girl's future, and as often as Kira mentioned her, that was a good sign. She looked back at Kira, who was now absorbed in drawing shapes in the condensation on the window next to her bed. Perhaps she might be able to help her more than she thought. "Well, it's a shame that you don't like reading. It's a lot of fun really. It can make you feel like you're in another place or another time." Kira continued looking at the window and rolled her eyes slightly indicating it was a line she had heard numerous times before. Alysia sighed and tried another tactic. "It can also teach you a lot about military tactics and strategy." She saw a glimmer of interest run across Kira's young face before it was studiously replaced with practiced indifference again. Alysia smiled a little to herself, the hook was set, all she had to do was reel her in. "I have a book about a soldier in the last province civil war." She paused for affect. "It's called The Red Fisherman." Kira looked at her fully, abandoning her indifference. "A fisherman? I thought you said it was about a soldier?" Alysia was having a hard time maintaining a straight face. "It is about a soldier, but it's after the war is over and he has become a fisherman." She looked back at Kira, noticing that she had her complete attention, before continuing. "The fisherman has a hard time dealing with his experiences in battle. He has nightmares and such. So, he goes to sea alone to catch the biggest of all fish. The one his father always told him about. While he and the fish struggle, he dreams of many of the things that happened to him in the war." She deliberately stopped and returned to her cooking. After a few moments, Kira leaned forward expectantly. "Well, what happens? Does he catch the fish or not?" Alysia continued to stir the soup. "I can't really tell you. It won't make sense unless you read the whole story." Silence. Alysia schooled herself not to look back at Kira. She could feel the girl's curiosity from here. "Well, it's not like there is a whole lot of other things to do. I suppose I could read a little of it." Her words belying her indifferent tone. Alysia smiled. She wasn't a bad fisherman herself. __________________________________________________________________________ __________ Major Kira put down the book when the fading light made it hard to read. She started to put it into the box with the others, but changed her mind at the last moment and put it in her travel pack. She stood and stretched. *Prophets, I'm not as young as I used to be.* She eyed the box of books one last time before stacking it with the others she was giving away. She had read most of them while she was here. Once she started reading, it had been hard to stop. She smiled in memory. She hadn't know such a world had existed. Oh, people had tried to tell her, of course, but as usual she had been stubbornly certain she knew better. If she owed Alysia for nothing else she owed her for that. The next few years of her youth she had scrounged every book she could find, both fiction and non-fiction books. She loved reading about the history of ancient Bajor, astronomy, military tactics and such. Why her ancestors had been one of the first in the quadrant to achieve long distance space travel, far earlier than even the Cardassians! She had developed a better friendship with Edon because of that. He would share his books with her and they would argue over them afterwards, usually to the amusement and good-natured ridicule of their fellow Resistance members. Except for Lupaza of course. She would force the others to quit teasing her and indicate rather harshly, that 'a little education wouldn't hurt any of them either.' She chucked at the memory. She ate a little and the set about preparing to burn the pile of debris. She had just finished coating it in incendiary fluid when her freedom fighter senses alerted her to another presence. She whirled around, automatically reaching for her boot knife. She faced him stunned. How did he know to come here? Why? "Hello. It's Major now, isn't it?" She swallowed, tense, her hand tightening on the handle of her knife. "You have a lot of gall showing up here now, after what you did to her." She paused in thought, her eyes threatening. "Besides, Bajor isn't exactly the safest place in the world for a Cardassian these days." He sat down on the rock she had used earlier and sighed. "I'm not here to hurt you, or make a spectacle of anything. I just wanted..." His voice trailed off as pain crossed his face. Her hand loosened on the knife as she observed her former enemy closely. "You...you really cared for her didn't you?" He nodded, emotion plain on his aging gray face. Kira returned her knife to her boot and for want of a better thing to do, lit the fire. Anything was better than facing the fact that she might have been wrong about a Cardassian...again." __________________________________________________________________________ ______ "If you keep that up, I'm going to run out of books soon." Alysia teased Kira gently as the girl hunted through the books for her next undertaking. She smiled to herself, covertly observing her young guest. The girl devoured the books with much the same enthusiasm as she devoured food. She had been there almost a month now and was rapidly approaching full recuperation. She had filled out some and almost looked her age. She helped with many of the chores now. One thing could be said of her, she was a dedicated worker. In fact, there were times that it was all Alysia could do to keep her from over exerting herself. Her ribs and right arm still need rest. *When they are better, she'll leave.* Alysia swallowed the lump in her throat. She had grown rather attached to the feisty youth. In fact, she was a little surprised she hadn't made a move to leave yet. She seemed so restless most of the time. Perhaps, she fears what she may find out about her friends, she thought glumly. "Where is the one you were telling me about yesterday? The one with the news reporter." Alysia got up to help her, when there was a loud knock at the door. Both of them froze in fear. Kira looked around frantically, there was no place to hide. The Cardassian voice thundered through the silence. "Open the door. This is a mandatory search. Alysia smoothed her skirt and motioned Kira to sit down at the table and chop some vegetables. Kira agreed silently, at least that gave her a knife to hold. She opened the door. Three Cardassians entered roughly. "May I help you?" She muttered. The leader looked around the room suspiciously. "What are your names?" Kira kept her eyes down. She had learned early in life that appearing submissive often prevented conflict with the scum that enslaved her world. Alysia stammered, nervously. My name is...Damar Alysia, and this is my...niece Rana. She's living with me." The leader looked at her suspicion on his face. "Your niece you say. She doesn't look anything like you." Kira looked up under hooded eyes. One of the lower Cardassians was roughly shoving furniture around looking for secret compartments or the like. The other was trying to appear to be helping, but his attention was clearly on the conversation between his superior and Alysia. Kira watched him carefully. He appeared...worried? She wasn't sure she had ever seen that expression on a Cardassian face before. Alysia was about to answer him when the worried Cardassian stepped forward. "Sir, I've seen this woman many times before. She brings produce to the camp. Her niece is often with her." He tried to appear calm. "They often save the best produce for us before they take it to the town market. I don't think they would harbor escaped prisoners." He motioned to his companion. "Unless Detan has found something." Gomar looked up and shook his head at superior. "There is nothing here sir." The leader nodded and left abruptly, eager to search other homes for his missing prisoners. The other two followed him quickly, but as he left the one that had defended them looked back and made eye contact with Alysia. The look they shared was hard to mistake even if you were only an adolescent, longing and fear. Kira sat still for a moment, stunned. Finally she glanced up at Alysia, hoping she had some plausible explanation. She wouldn't meet her face. "Why? Why did he help us Alysia? He lied to his commander." Kira's young mind could come up with only one reason and the thought chilled her. Only 'Petachas' did that with the enemy. Alysia sat down heavily and lowered her head. "I've known Gomar for six years. He's a guard at the prison." She rose and walked to the window still refusing to meet Kira's eyes. "My family was fairly well off before the occupation. We...my father and my husband...didn't feel that a violent response was the best way to deal with them." She paused, allowing the information to sink in. Kira rose stiffly and approached her. Anger permeated her entire being. "You mean you were collaborators." Alysia turned to face the raw anger in Kira's voice. She was taken aback for a moment as she saw the depth of the girl's disgust. She should have remembered how quickly the young jumped to conclusions. "No...we never collaborated, we just didn't...resist." She sat down again, too tired to fight back. "We thought we could survive if we just didn't antagonize anyone." Kira backed away, still angry. To her it was much the same thing. "So you just 'cooperated' with that Cardassian that was here?" Alysia sighed. She doubted anything she said would make sense to the girl. In her young mind, issues were still black and white. How could she understand the complex gray haze that permeated the adult world? She tried anyway. "My family was rounded up and killed in the Recanta massacre. I survived because a Cardassian Gul took a 'shine' to me." She swallowed hard in memory. "I was his 'servant' for many years, before I was sent here...and met Gomar. He helped me get away and set me up in this cabin...for a price, of course." She met Kira's eyes, knowing that she didn't have to say what the 'price' was. Kira paced in front of her, her good hand placed on her hip in a disapproving manner. "You could have fought back! There were people who would've helped you!" Alysia shook her head. "I told you, my family was considered to be...less than patriotic. The Resistance was not very willing to help someone like me...I did what I had to do to survive." She stood and tried to stop Kira's pacing by clasping her shoulders. Kira shrugged her hands off angrily. "I know that you don't understand, or agree with I have done, but I had no other choice. I hope you never have to face a situation like that." Kira glanced back at her defiantly before moving to the door. "I need to think." She said as she slammed the door behind her. __________________________________________________________________________ ______ Kira sat next to Gomar on another rock. They watched the fire burn in silence, each remembering the woman who worked so tirelessly to maintain what was now debris. Kira finally looked over at the old man. "She left her entire 'estate' to me when she died. I don't think she had any friends or relatives left." She sighed and looked back at the fire. "The Government is going to put a new power plant on this land, and it needed to be cleared." She trailed off in thought again. "She loved this cabin." Gomar said suddenly, causing Kira to jump. He had been so silent, she had almost forgotten he was there. He continued hesitantly. "I think it was the only time she had ever had something that belonged just to her." Kira looked at him surprised, sarcasm creeping back into her voice. "Don't you mean as long as you allowed her to stay here?" He looked back at her sadly. "I know that you believe I was just using her, but that's not the way it was. We...became close." He stopped again, hesitant to reveal that which he had always kept secret. "I was never a very good soldier. I enjoyed art, literature and the like too much. Alysia and I had that in common. She made my time here on Bajor livable, and I helped her get away from some of the more brutal of my comrades." Kira faced away, she didn't know what to say. The occupation had been over for almost five years now, and she still had trouble believing in malevolent Cardassians. She had seen the evidence of their existence with her own eyes, but instinct from her past always crept in and tried to convince her otherwise. She could say some meaningless platitude that she didn't really believe, or she could just remain silent. She choose silence. "She cared for you, you know. Even after you left that way." Kira looked back at him sharply. She didn't want to discuss things she still felt guilty about with this damn Cardassian, malevolent or not. But, he continued anyway. "She understood why you felt the way you did, and she forgave you for it." She retorted angrily. "What would you know of forgiveness, or how I felt, Cardassian?" He looked at her, slightly surprised at her sudden attack after her long silence. "We talked about it, quite a bit actually. You touched a part of her she had thought was long dead, and she was grateful for that." Kira sat back in thought. She hadn't intended to talk to anyone about her feelings surrounding Alysia. In many ways, their brief acquaintance had been one of the most significant in her formative years. It had been the first time she had had the time to worry about anything other than food or survival, and, it had been the beginning of her desire to become something more than just a good soldier. She treasured that experience. But, more importantly, it had been the first time anything had really challenged her belief in the absoluteness of right and wrong. Until that point, she had been certain that anyone who didn't fight for the Resistance, was simply wrong and cowardly. She rebelled against the thought that some of the people she despised most, may not have had any other choice. It had taken her months to sort through the angry and turbulent emotions that plagued her about the event and in the end, she was sorry for the way she had treated Alysia. But, stubbornness and pride were too much a part of her psyche to allow her to return and apologize. Months became years, and eventuality it just felt too late. She almost managed to forget about it, to force it into the recesses of her mind as the first of many regrets to befall her. It came as a great shock, therefore the day she received notice of Alysia's death. She had been named the sole executor and beneficiary in the will. The occupation had been over for almost a year, and she was still adjusting to her post on DS9. It had been a particularly hard day and the last thing she had needed was to dwell on the past...or face her shame for never returning and making amends. The fact that Alysia had obviously forgiven her anyway, only made her feel worse. So, she locked it away again. Ignored it, and went on with her life. Until last week, when the local government called her and asked her to sell the property for the power plant. Unable to procrastinate any longer, she had agreed to sell and returned here to remove any personal belongings...and face her regrets. How could she tell that to a Cardassian? And yet, he seemed to be in genuine pain. To be fair, he had never given any information on her to his superiors either, and if he had really talked with Alysia about her, he had enough information to severely hurt her. Se decided to lay aside prejudice for the moment. "She was an impressive person." The words sounded weak to her, but at least it had broken the tension. Gomar smiled slightly. "Yes, she was." __________________________________________________________________________ __________ It was a good two hours before Kira returned to the cabin and Alysia was starting to get worried. When Kira finally came through the door, she was so relieved she almost forgot the previous argument for a moment. Kira shifted her feet nervously. "I have to leave. There's a Resistance cell near by that will help me find my friends." She immediately began to pack her sparse belongings, deliberately avoiding eye contact with Alysia. Alysia remained silent for a moment. She had expected no less, and yet it still hurt to see her go. It had been a long time since she had had someone with her each day, and she had forgotten how nice it could be. She was also gravely worried about the girls welfare. Realistically, her chances of survival in the Resistance were slim. Every fiber in her being cried that this girl's life should not be wasted so. But, she said none of these things. Kira wouldn't have listened or appreciated them anyway. She moved to the storage area and packed a bag with as much food and medical supplies as she could spare, and as an afterthought threw in a the book Kira had been looking for earlier that day. She set the bag in front of Kira as she finished packing. "Here, take this with you. You may need it." Sensing that Kira was about to refuse her offer, she added hastily. "Consider it my gift to the Resistance." This last effort convinced Kira and she defiantly grabbed the bag. She turned to leave, but stopped at the door. She turned one last time to face the woman who had saved her life and nursed her back to health. "Thanks." She said simply. Her emotions were confusing her and she wanted nothing more than to leave and return to the life she had always known and understood. As she opened the door, her heart stopped. She stood face to face with Alysia's Cardassian 'friend.' The two stared at each other for a long moment, each trying to decide what to do. Finally, Gomar spoke. "Avoid the mountain pass. We are still searching there." Kira nodded, shocked. Never in her life had a Cardassian done something to help her or anyone she knew. She glanced back briefly, silently acknowledging Alysia's look of understanding, worry and affection, before dashing out the door into the early evening fog. It was with that expression that she would always remember Alysia's face. Kira and Gomar had talked little that night as they watched the fire burn into cinders. There was a silent acknowledgment of their appreciation of company for the vigil. In the morning, Kira allowed him a few moments alone in the cabin and offered him anything he wanted keep. An hour after dawn, he quietly left. Between them they hadn't said more than ten sentences to each other. Kira gathered up the remaining items and packed them into her ground car. She would stop by the local temple and drop them off on her way back to the space port. She closed up the car and tossed her bag into the side seat before taking one last look at the dilapidated structure. She had stopped at the tree line and looked back one more time before making her way into town those many years ago also. How different her life was now. She had returned to her Resistance cell, to find that most of her friends had survived the attack on the prison camp. Lupaza, Furel, Edon and most of the others were still there. They were overjoyed to see her, and for a while that was enough. The soul searching she did in the wake of her time with Alysia shaped who she was now. She glanced down at the uniform she had put on this morning. So many of her generation were misfits in a peaceful society, unable to adapt. She had always considered herself to be much luckier than most, and the older she became, the more she realized the truth of that. Not just because of Alysia, of course, but because of Lupaza and the numerous others in her life that took the time to care what became of her. She smiled finally and faced the structure again. "Thanks." She said allowed. She got into the car and headed for the space port and back to DS9. Her life was there now and she owed it to many people to see that she made it a good one.