Note: This is the sequel to Family Ties, and the beginning takes place approximately one year after the events depicted in that story. I am warning you all now that this story is sad, so if you only like happy endings, I would suggest you proceed no further. Dedication: This story is dedicated to my grandmother, Brenda Heffner Abernethy, who died of cancer in the winter of 1983. I am also dedicating this story to Amy Bitter and Fliss Carthew, who have supported my literary endeavors thus far! ************************************************************************** "And all I ever needed was the One/ like freedom feels when wild horses run/ when stars collide like you and I/ no shadows block the sun/ you're all I've ever needed/ baby you're the One." Elton John ************************************************************************** Missing You Part 1 Nerys sighed as she entered the turbolift. She'd had a particularly grueling shift, and was looking forward to going home. First however, she had to pick up Tola who had begun to stay with Keiko O'Brien after school. She rang the door com and was greeted with chaos. The door slid open to reveal a screaming Kirayoshi, who was trying to wrestle a toy away from Molly. Keiko was busy cleaning up a mess that had begun to spread slowly across the carpet. She glanced around but didn't spot Tola anywhere. She noticed the boy had developed a knack for disappearing. Keiko looked at Nerys and smiled helplessly. Kira walked over to the two squabbling children and gently grabbed the toy from Molly. " Molly, why don't you go help your mother clean up that mess and let your little brother have the toy." When Molly looked like she was going to protest, Nerys leaned closer and whispered, " He's only a baby, he needs toys, you on the other hand are almost grown, you don't need one little toy." The girl raised her chin proudly and smiled. " You're right Aunt Nerys, toys are for babies." Molly said as she rose to help her mother. Nerys handed the toy, a small stuffed animal, to Yoshi and went in search of her brother. She found him curled up in the corner with a data PADD. He didn't hear her approach and was still deep in his reading when she sat down beside him. " What are you reading little one?" " It's an old human novel called Oliver Twist. It's about an orphan and it's really good." The boy enthused. " Well, come on, its time we get home." She said as she took his hand and helped him to his feet. " Thank you Keiko, I'll see you tomorrow." Nerys called as she headed out of the door. Tola only waved wordlessly as they entered the hall outside the O'Brien's quarters. Nerys finished tucking Tola in the bed and kissed him on the forehead. She left the room just in time to see her husband enter. He had a slight sheen to him and Nerys knew that it was time for him to regenerate. She walked to him and kissed him gently on the lips before gesturing to the bedroom. " Odo, I think it's time you went to bed." she teased lightly. " I'm sorry I don't have the energy to talk tonight, or do anything else." he rejoined archly. She patted his arm reassuringly. " Go on, I have a few reports to finish. I'll be in bed in about an hour." She watched Odo's retreating back, and walked over to her console where she had some last minute reports to finish. She sat down and began to think of a conversation that she'd had with Shakaar the last time she'd been on Bajor, at his wedding. He had married a friend from their resistance cell. Nerys had always liked the woman, but had never really known her that well. The woman had kept to herself, only offering her opinion in missions. She had never been close to anyone, and Nerys knew that it was because she didn't want to get attached to anyone in case they were killed, as many of their comrades were. However, this woman that Kira had become reacquainted with was totally different. She was jovial and out-spoken. She could see that she really made Edon happy, and that made her dearer in Nerys' eyes. But it wasn't Edon's wife they had talked about, it was Nerys. " So Nerys, when are you and Odo going to have children of your own?" Edon had said it lightly, but she knew he wanted an answer. She had told Edon before about the measures that Dr. Bashir had taken when Odo had been Human. Julian had taken some sperm samples from Odo to discover whether he could have children, and it appeared he could. Julian had kept the samples on file, even after had been changed back into a shapeshifter. " I don't know Edon. Odo and I haven't really discussed it." Nerys answered slightly embarrassed. " I don't mean to embarrass you. I'm just curious. Besides, my little one will need a playmate." Nerys had hugged her friend at his pronouncement. " Congratulations Edon. I'm happy for you! Wow, you are going to be a father, I never thought I'd see the day." Now as Nerys sat at her console, she realized that she wanted to have Odo's baby. She wasn't looking forward to being pregnant, but she wanted to have her own child. She wanted to discuss it with Odo, but he had already reverted to his natural state. Kira sighed as she finished her reports and trotted off to bed. ************************************************************************** Part 2 Nerys awoke to the sound of Tola's laugh. She arose groggily from the bed and tied the belt of her robe tight around her waist. She looked at the chronometer and saw that it was only 0600 hours. She and Odo had the day off, but Tola still had school. She left the bedroom, and saw that Odo was tickling the boy on the floor. She chuckled silently as she approached the duo. When Odo saw her approach, he looked guilty. " I'm sorry Nerys, did we wake you?" " No, I was just getting up, but you Tola need to get to school. Let me go get dressed and I'll walk you to class." " No rissa. I can walk to school by myself. I am six years old now," The boy protested proudly. Nerys looked to Odo for support, but he was nodding in agreement with the boy. " All right, fine. Just be sure you don't run, and whatever you do, don't go into..." but she stopped as she received a look from Odo. " Well, you better get going now." Nerys finished. Tola smiled in triumph at Odo, as he gathered his homework assignments. He kissed Nerys good bye and sauntered off to school. Odo rose from his place on the floor and walked closer to his wife and pulled her into an embrace. He pulled away and started kissing the hollow of her neck and moved upward till his lips were planted firmly on his wife's. Nerys pulled away suddenly and look his hand as she led him to the couch. " Odo, we need to talk." " Nerys, what is it?" Odo responded worriedly. " It's nothing bad, well, I guess that depends on how you feel about it. Odo, I don't know how to say this, so I am just going to be blunt. I think our relationship and our home is as stable as it's going to get, and I want to have a child." There was a long silence as her words sunk in. She took his silence as a rejection and got up from the couch, but he pulled her back towards him and began kissing her passionately. " Nerys, I don't know what to say. I've been wondering how to broach the subject with you. I've wanted this for some time. I would love for you to have our child, we can go set up an appointment with Dr. Bashir right now." " We can go see Julian a little later. Right now, I want to make love to you." And with that, he gathered her in his arms and carried her to the bedroom. " I must admit, I was wondering how long it would take the two of you to set up an appointment." Julian said as he pressed the hypospray into Kira's neck. " Now Colonel, just relax, you should be asleep within the next few minutes. The next time you wake up, you'll be pregnant." Nerys was holding on to Odo's hand when she drifted off to sleep. She was laying on the operation table in the standard hospital garb. Julian had wandered into a back room to get prepped for the operation. He had assured the couple that it was very simple and painless. Nerys would be able to go back to work the next day. Odo extricated his hand gently from his wife's and wandered into the waiting room. Thirty minutes later, the door to the operating room opened and Julian was smiling. " Congratulations Constable, it appears that you are going to be a father." Odo smiled in acknowledgment as he walked over to his wife's bedside, clasping her hand. Nerys had already begun to stir, and smiled as she saw her husband's face. " Well?" " Well, we are going to be parents." Odo said and was rewarded with a brilliant smile. " Let's get you home so we can celebrate." ************************************************************************** Part 3 Nerys was just getting to sleep when she heard Tola screaming. She felt Odo rustle beside her. " I'll go Odo, I think he's having another bad dream." Nerys said as she swung her feet over the side of the bed. It took her longer to do the normal things that she had taken for granted, such as getting out of bed. She finally made it to Tola's room and saw that he was curled up in a ball, shaking with sobs. She collected the boy in her arms and sat in the rocking chair. She whispered to him soothingly and rubbed his back. The boy was soon asleep, but when Kira moved to put the boy back in his bed, he clung tightly to her. " Please, don't leave me here by myself." The boy pleaded. " O.K., Tola, I'll sleep in here with you tonight." Nerys said as she moved to lay down beside her younger brother. She draped her arm over his middle and he snuggled closer to her. Just then, the baby began to kick. Tola giggled and turned to face his sister. He placed his small hand on her distended abdomen. " How much longer before it comes out?" " One more month. Now shh...go to sleep. You have school tomorrow." Tola closed his dark eyes and drifted off to sleep. Nerys rubbed her hand absently over her stomach and willed the baby to go back to sleep. Her second pregnancy had been considerably easier than her first. Maybe it was the fact that she knew she was going to be able to keep this baby, or maybe it was the fact that Odo was around to support her. Her husband had been even more attentive than Chief O'Brien had been. Also, due to his shapeshifting abilities, Odo's massages were even more relaxing than Miles'. The baby soon became still and Nerys drifted back to sleep. Nerys was coming back from dropping Tola off at school when she was greeted by the sight of Quark. She tried to enter the turbolift as fast as she could when she saw Quark waving for her. However, she was not fast enough, the Ferengi was soon beside her in the turbolift. " Ah Colonel, you look absolutely fabulous today. Now, I won't take up too much of your time, I just wanted to discuss some of these new Commerce Bills your Bajoran government has recently passed." " Quark, save it. I am on my way to see the Doctor, I don't have time to hear your complaints. However, if you have any problems, I'm sure Captain Sisko would love to..." but her speech was interrupted as the turbolift began to descend in free fall. Kira gripped the side and went to tap her communicator, but found only cloth. *Damn. Why don't I carry that thing with me when I'm off duty.* Nerys thought. Just then, the turbolift halted to a stop abruptly, forcing its two passengers to fall to the floor. Nerys was rewarded with a sudden gushing of water. " Prophets no. I really don't need this now." Nerys breathed. " What's wrong Colonel?" but when he saw her face, Quark knew what was wrong. " Now Colonel, you stop it right now. You can't have this baby here, you have to hold it until we can get you to the infirmary." " Quark, you little troll! I can't hold this baby in, it's coming out whether we want it to or not!" Kira roared as an intense pain rocked through her body. " Now you listen to me, I have to be relaxed or this is going to be very painful, and trust me Quark, if it is painful for me, I will make it painful for you." Kira seethed. " Calm down Colonel, what do you want me to do?" Quark asked nervously for he had no doubt that Kira meant every word she said. " First, you have to lift my dress and see if there is a head." " Colonel, Odo would kill me! I can't look down there." " Quark! I'm sure Odo will forgive you just this once, but you have to look!" Quark had a bad feeling about this. Odo would never forgive him for this. He would find a way to make Quark pay, but he feared Kira more than he did Odo, so he moved closer to the Colonel and pulled her dress around her knees. " I can see a head. It's coming, it's coming." Quark yelled excitedly. Odo was in his office when he felt the station shake. He tapped his badge. " Odo to Ops, what's going on up there." " Dax here. Odo, it appears that we stumbled across a virus. All the turbolifts have stopped, and some people are locked in their quarters. We have it under control, things should be back to order within the hour." " Very well, Odo out." Odo thought about his wife, but knew that she had an appointment with Bashir, so she was in capable hands. He walked out of his office onto the Promenade, trying to restore order. Quark had a surprisingly rich tenor voice. In order to relax Kira, he had begun to sing. It was an old Bajoran lullaby. Kira smiled as she felt the baby move around. She hadn't felt any more pain since that first contraction, and that was about an hour ago. She knew the baby was coming soon. She was surprised when she heard Quark let out a yelp of surprise. " It's here Colonel, she's here." Kira looked up in surprise. When she had delivered Yoshi, he had been screaming. But her baby, her daughter, was silent. Fear began to race through Kira's heart. She looked into Quark's face and saw he was smiling. He took off his coat and wrapped the baby inside. He handed the bundle to Kira and she looked into her child's face. She looked exactly like her mother, red hair and nose ridges. In fact, the only feature of her father's the baby had, were the ice-blue eyes. These same eyes were observing Kira's face intently. Kira showered her baby with kisses, and noticed that the baby was fast asleep. Kira soon joined her. ************************************************************************** Part 4 (One year later) Nerys was looking at her daughter and brother when she felt someone approach. She turned around and smiled as her husband sat down beside her. He took her hand and pressed it to his lips. He then handed her the flowers he had been picking in the distant meadow. " Oh Odo, you are so sweet." Nerys said as she kissed her husband on the cheek. She was soon interrupted by the voice of her daughter. " Look mommy, me and Tola found a bug." Lonera said as she watched the bug crawl around in her palm. She had the same analytical look as her father. She had named her daughter after her mother. She gazed at her daughter thoughtfully. She had curly auburn hair that was now pulled back in a bow. She was small for her age, but she was very intelligent. " Why don't you put that down sweetheart. It probably wants to get home." " O.K." her daughter sighed as she reluctantly put the insect down, and watched with glee as it flew away. " I think it's nap time now." Nerys said as her two charges groaned in unison. " Come on now, when you wake up, we'll go into town and have dinner." Kira gathered their belongings into the bag and put it around her shoulder. Tola was already on Odo's shoulders and her daughter wandered over to her and put her arms up. As she picked her up, an intense pain swept through her lower abdomen. She faltered a bit, but soon recovered. This was not missed by Odo, and the look in his eyes told her that he would ask questions later. " Nerys, what happened out there?" Odo asked as he came out of the children's room. " I don't know what you're talking about." " Nerys, don't lie to me, I am not a child. I want to know what's going on and why you've been acting so strange lately." Nerys steeled herself. She hadn't wanted to tell Odo, not here any way. They both finally had time to take leave and had decided to take the kids on a vacation to Dakhur Province. They had already been there a week and they were leaving the following day. " Odo, I don't want to talk about it here. When we get back to the station, I'll tell you what's been going on." " No, I will not wait until we get back to the station. You are going to tell me now." Odo's tone left no room for argument. Kira took a deep breath and began to tell her husband of her condition. " Odo, I've been having pains since shortly after Lonera's birth. They got so intense that I went to go see Julian about a month ago. He uh, he found some tumors. He sent them to a lab on Bajor and it appears that I have Calora." She said tonelessly. " What is Calora? I've never heard of it." " It's a condition that affects only one in a million Bajorans. The cells in the body, they start to ignore their growth phases, and eventually go through metastasis. That means that there becomes an overload of cells, and these cells contain Calora. Eventually, these cells form tumors and these tumors grow all around the body, taking the nutrients." " I don't understand. Can't these tumors be removed?" " No, it gets worse when the tumors are removed. The cells try to compensate and produce even more Calora tumors. Um, this is a progressive disease, and a normal person can only live about a year and a half before their body just stops functioning. Odo, I only have a few more months to live." Nerys said through tears. She hadn't allowed herself to cry since she learned of her condition. Even when Julian had broke into tears, Nerys had been the strong one. She just nodded and walked back to her quarters to think how she was going to break the news to Odo. She had decided in the end, that it would be better not to tell him. " And you're just telling me now? How could you do this? Do you have a heart? I am your husband and you didn't even tell me?" Odo was screaming as the news sunk in. Just then, he stormed out, slamming the door. *Maybe I shouldn't have told him* Nerys thought grimly as she headed off to bed herself. She was a lot more fatigued these days. Odo's anger at his wife was so intense that he couldn't think straight. All these months, she pretended that everything was fine. She had been in pain this past year and hadn't said a word to him. She had lied to him, lied by omission. He took the form of a Bajoran Tila Hawk and soared through the sky. Soon however, his anger was replaced by devastation. The one woman who had accepted him for who he was, the one woman who loved him, the woman who had given him a child was dying. There was nothing Odo could do about it. She would be gone in a few months, and he would be utterly alone again. Well, not exactly, he still had two children to look after. Still, it was not the same. He made a decision then. He didn't want to be hurt anymore than he had been. He would draw away from his wife so the pain wouldn't swallow him when she died. Oh, he would care for her, but he made himself a promise that whatever happened, he was not going to become too involved in her life any more. ************************************************************************** Part 5 True to his word, Odo began to draw away from his wife. He looked after her medical needs, but didn't really talk to her anymore. He didn't even sleep in the same room with her anymore. The children knew something was wrong, so they had decided to tell them. Tola had burst into tears and had started hitting Kira. " I hate you! You could get better if you wanted to. You just want to leave us, you don't care about us." the boy had screamed. Nerys had let him hit her and didn't try to stop him, until finally, his energy spent, he collapsed in her arms sobbing. Kira was relieved to see someone showing emotion. Odo had completely withdrawn from her. He had begun to work longer hours. None of her friends visited anymore, they were too sad. The only person who acted as if everything were all right was Jadzia. Jadzia had become pregnant and the sight of her made Kira sorrowful. She knew she would never see her daughter or brother grow up. She still enjoyed chatting with her friend though. Kira's shifts had been cut down considerably. She didn't have the strength or energy to deal with the troubles on the station. It was when she collapsed in Ops that she decided it was time for her to resign. Julian suggested that she return to one of the facilities on Bajor. She agreed and settled on one that was in the Capital city. Everyone had promised to visit her, but Kira knew that they were lying. Hell, she wouldn't have wanted to visit an invalid, who was definitely going to die. That was how she defended Odo's actions. Lwaxana Troi had become a frequent visitor to the station. Nerys knew that nothing sexual was going on, but she still felt cheated. Odo was supposed to talk to her, cry with her, hold her. Instead, he turned to the Betazoid Ambassador. For the first month, she had had a lot of visitors. Shakaar had come and she was remembering the conversation as she looked out of the window. " Nerys, you don't look so good." " I don't feel so good either." " Do you know how much longer you have?" " The Doctors told me that I might have a couple of more months left. Prophets I just want to die already. My lingering is causing so much pain, not just for me, but for you all, my friends." Shakaar had suddenly hugged her and had begun to cry. He was talking incoherently before he finally pulled away and mumbled an apology. It was the last time he was to visit her. Jadzia came to see her every week. She always brought Lonera with her. Although her daughter didn't exactly understand what was going on, she knew it was something bad. Everyone always looked sad, and her father didn't ever mention her mother. She would sit by her mother for hours while the two woman talked and would stare into her mother's face. It was as if she was trying to remember every detail, and she didn't know why. Tola had refused to come see her. He was still mad at her. Even at the mention of her name he would grow sullen and sulky. He had begun to grow attached to the woman that Odo was always bringing over for dinner. She was jovial while everyone else was depressed. He liked her right away because she was the exact opposite of his sister. She wore outrageous clothes and was always hugging and kissing him. His sister had been more tame and reserved. Sisko and the others saw Nerys sporadically. She began fading away slowly, and they hated watching someone who had been so strong suddenly so weak. Nerys made one final request. She contacted Odo who had only been to visit her once since her hospitalization three months ago. She requested that he bring the children so she could say her final good-byes. She knew she would be dead within the next couple of days, it had been a wonder she had lasted this long. Tola had been the first to enter trailed by Lonera. Tola just glared at her from a corner until she finally told him to come over to her so she could talk to him. He walked closer to her hesitantly. " Tola, I know you think you hate me right now and that I want to leave you, but I don't. I want to stay here and watch you and Lonera grow up, but I can't. It's my time to go, and I have accepted that. I just want you to know that I love you and I know you love me. So when you get older and regret not having told me, you don't have to worry, because I already know. You are going to accomplish great things, I know you are. I love you little brother." she kissed the top of his head and he sulked back to the corner, although his glare had softened a little. " Lonera, I know you don't understand what's going on, but I have to leave soon. I won't be around for much longer, but I want you to know, that I'll always be watching over you. You are my special girl. You take care of your uncle and father. I love you t'sija. Now go get your father and tell him I would like to speak to him." Nerys said as she kissed her daughter. About five minutes later, Odo entered the room. He was not looking at her, and he didn't leave the vicinity of the doorway. " Odo, I won't keep you long. I have already spoken to the children and I just have one final thing to say before you go. I understand your actions. I know it can't be easy watching me slowly slip away. Lonera and Tola are going to need a mother figure. I know I haven't really liked Ambassador Troi in the past, but I know that she cares about you, so maybe you could marry her. I know that you have become very close with her in these past few months, and that she has been your support. I love you husband, even though we haven't been very close lately, but I hope you know that I love you with all my heart and wish nothing but the best for you. Good-bye, you take care of my babies and make sure they don't forget me." Nerys said through tears. " I won't." was all Odo said as he rushed out of the room. ************************************************************************** Part 6 When Odo came home from his shift three days later, he saw that a message was waiting. The face of an old doctor filled the viewscreen. " I'm sorry to inform you, but Kira Nerys passed away early this morning. The tumor in her brain finally ruptured. I want you to know that she died in her sleep, it was very peaceful, I don't think she felt any pain." The man blinked off the screen. Pain? She didn't feel any pain? That was a lie. She had been feeling pain ever since she told Odo of her condition, and he had cut her off from his heart. He hadn't even told her that he loved her when he left her room on his final visit. She had been virtually alone this past year and a half. He hadn't really gone to see her. She must have felt so alone. *I caused her pain. I hurt her before she could hurt me, and now she'll never know how much I loved her, she'll never know.* Odo thought as he sunk in a puddle. Two days later, Odo was still in his natural form. He had refused to emerge. It was Dax who brought him back to reality. " Odo, we are having the memorial service today, you have to attend. You have two small children who need you. They lost someone too, you know. You need to stop running from this and face your responsibility." " I don't deserve to attend her funeral. I was of no use to her. I was her husband, I should have been there to hold her hand, to comfort her when the pain became too much, but I wasn't. I simply ignored her. I didn't even tell her that I loved her, she was my wife, and I didn't even tell her that I loved her." Odo said as he formed himself into a humanoid. " Odo, stop blaming yourself. Nerys knew you loved her, she understood why you cut her off. I went to visit her the day before she died, and she told me to tell you, that she understood, and had already forgiven you." The service had been held on Bajor, and later there had been a party of sorts where everyone told of their fondest memories of Kira. Quark had told everyone about Lonera's birth and how he had been so scared of Odo for a couple of days afterward. Shakaar had related some events of Kira's career in the Resistance, and had told everyone how brave she was. Everyone slowly made their way up to the podium, until it was Odo's turn. His movements, usually so fluid, were now heavy and clumsy. " What can I say about Nerys that we don't already know? She was generous, loving warm, courageous, and beautiful. She cared about you all a great deal. She was my friend and my lover. She accepted me and loved me. She made me forget about the great link, and what I was missing from my people. But in these past couple of days since her death, I realize that Nerys was my great link. I know she will be sorely missed by us all, but we have to trudge on. She wouldn't want us to be sad, or depressed. She was so brave towards the end. I only saw her cry once in the time of her illness. So, we must learn by her example and be brave. It's the way she would have wanted it." Everyone had been surprised by Odo's speech, he never revealed his emotions, but he poured his heart out that day. Everyone made their way out of the room, but Odo lingered on. " Nerys, if you can hear me, I want you to know that you were my everything. I know I wasn't a model husband, but I loved you so much, I still do. I will make sure that the children never forget what a wonderful woman you were." With that, Odo walked out of the room, and boarded the transport that would take him back to the station where he had two children to raise. *I'll make you proud Nerys* he vowed silently as he gazed out at the stars. The End ************************************************************************** Feedback: Did you like it? Hate it? Don't be shy, let me know what you think!